


I'm tired and I love you

by ramibvnd



Series: Anderperry prompts [1]
Category: Dead Poets Society (1989)
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Comfort, Exhaustion, M/M, Sleep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-15 01:00:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29180652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ramibvnd/pseuds/ramibvnd
Summary: Todd is very tired and it results in a confession
Relationships: Todd Anderson & Neil Perry, Todd Anderson/Neil Perry
Series: Anderperry prompts [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2142291
Kudos: 48





	I'm tired and I love you

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all I wrote this in rush and this should become a series of prompts. Like a bit of therapy for me? Idk. I don't remember where I got this prompt from so if you know, please let me know.  
> TW: anxiety and anxiety attacks as well as negative thoughts of oneself 
> 
> Love you & stay safe <3

Person A being super tired and as Person B is helping them to bed Person A says “You know I have a crush on you, right?” 

Todd was so tired, he almost fell asleep in class. The additional class around noon was cancelled and for whatever bloody reason he ended up having a anxiety attack in his dorm. On top of this he stayed up late yesterday to finish his homework and the combination of physical and emotional exhaustion was bad.  
“Todd, you can’t sleep in class”, he heard Cameron say. They worked on a group project and oh boy, Cameron was annoying. Or at least it seemed like it, because Charlie looked very annoyed.  
Promptly Charlie’s answer came: “Shut up. If Todd’s tired then it’s the perfect moment to take a power nap. Mr Cullen won’t leave his desk until the bell rings.”  
Todd gave him a little smile and tried to focus on the book in front of him but the letters blurred and began to melt into strokes. He lifted his gaze a tiny bit and searched the other dead poets in the room. Neil was obviously having fun with Meeks and Knox, they laughed silently and showed each other things in their books. Pitts on the other hand was focused and doing the assignment as they all should.  
“I’ll just copy Meeks’s afterwards”, Charlie announced whispering and leaned back. Sometimes Todd wished he could care as little as Charlie did. Not shying away from any reckless action or any adventure, not giving a shit about other’s opinion on him. Or if he could be like Neil, always friendly, respectful and so full of life. Neil. Even though Todd was tired, he saw Neil’s beautiful features pin sharp in his mind and for a brief moment he imagined what it would feel like if he could touch those cheekbones and brush away the fringe. But Todd forbid himself to think this way of his friend. Neil was certainly not gay and definitely not interested in such a bore. He could imagine Neil falling for someone as daring as Charlie or giving his heart to the sweet-tempered Knox, but not for I-prefer-to-be-quiet-Todd.  
The bell finally rang and Charlie had already packed his books up and was walking over to Pitts, when Todd heard Neil’s familiar footsteps.  
Seconds later he felt the warm, slender fingers on his shoulder and automatically tensed. Neil of course noticed and took away his hand: “Is everything ok, Todd?”  
Todd nodded and began to close his books. When he got up, he felt his muscles ache and sighed. Neil gave him a worried look but Todd decided to act as if he didn’t saw it and headed for the door.  
“Meeks”, Charlie laughed, “I’m in desperate need of the notes you took this class. And if you ask why exactly yours, it’s because your handwriting is so neat.”  
“I need to finish greek after dinner”, Pitts mentioned casually, “Study group at seven?”  
The group agreed and split their ways to get ready for dinner. As soon as Todd was back in his room he wanted to lay down and sleep through but he knew that his would worry Neil even more, so he just sat down. In the corner of his eyes he saw Neil looking at him while combing his hair. Why did this boy make it so hard to not love him? Hardly anyone ever cared so much for Todd as Neil did and he felt silly for immediately falling for it. He seriously had some complexes.  
“I don’t want to pressure you Todd but you know, you can always talk to me.”  
Todd nodded once again and got up, even though it took him a ton of energy he didn’t have: “Let’s go to dinner.”  
Neil opened the door for Todd and closed it after them. Todd concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other when he noticed the black points in his vision. They grew quickly and he felt his knees giving up.  
He heard a muffled scream that sounded similar to his name and expected to hit the hard ground but someone caught him. Two arms were shoved beneath his motionless body and he was lifted up but he couldn’t remember who would do this. He was Todd not-good-as-his-brother after all and why should someone give a shit? The next thing he actively felt was the soft mattress of the bed and how he was tucked into the blankets.  
With his last energy he opened his eyes and focused until his vision got sharp. It was Neil and despite his exhaustion a warm blubbery feeling rose in his stomach.  
“You know I have a crush on you, right?”, he said and realised seconds later what he just had said. Neil froze in his attempts to tuck the blankets under Todd’s torso and slowly turned his head.  
“I’m sorry, I-“ Todd climbed back but Neil silenced him with a gentle “sh”.  
He came closer and placed a subtle kiss on Todd’s forehead: “There’s nothing to be sorry for. Just tell me next time when you’re not feeling well.”  
Todd knew that his friend didn’t expect an answer and was grateful, because there was quite a lot he had to explain to Neil. But for now he had used all of his energy and only wanted to sleep. Tomorrow was also a day.


End file.
